The Curse of Scott Frost (Satire)

 Prior to the Scott Frost hiring, every Nebraska fan was hopeful that the savior of Nebraska football had returned home. After his undisputed University of Central Florida National Championship run, Nebraska needed a new hope. After spurning Nebraska in the early 90s to then transferring from the Trees to the Cornstalks, it was clear Scott Frost was ready to build a brand in his home state of Nebraska. 

Scott Frost arrived to arguably the most talented group Nebraska had seen since the end of the Golden Ages highlighted by 3 star punter, Caleb Lightbourn. It was clear Scott Frost took this opportunity knowing how easy this turnaround was going to be with this team and likely putting a garnish on his Nebraska football career. 

While he played for the mediocre head coach of Tom Osborne - who randomly has his name written everywhere in Memorial Stadium - he oddly understood how to play amazing football. Scott Frost played for two years and returned with a 1997 National Championship trophy. He then decided to become the coach and was embraced with a $35 million cushion to fall from his playing greatness and vanish without a trace after he partook in some voodoo magic leaving behind an inoperable Husker football team. 

Following the disastrous errors of his coaching career - like letting 8 year Nebraska football legend Adrian Martinez (not to be confused with Taylor Martinez) - he realized the worse he did, the more attention he received and the more money he too would make. While his season was a let down, he decided to IMPLODE the season by having the team lose to - what we know now of being the best football team of all time - Georgia Southern. He recognized his cushion had become colder so he wanted to make an extra $7.5 million. He knew he would soon be too treasured as the greatest coach in Nebraska history with his 16-31 record. Just before he could get his claim to fame, he vanished to the heat of Arizona State University, where he could thaw again. 

His tenure at Nebraska was full of catastrophic moments including timely fumbles, costly interceptions, poor coaching, special teams blunders and even his offensive line throwing up too much for the media’s liking. Yet, through all of these moments, Scott’s record in one score losses was abysmal, yet through it all he led the “Greatest (3-9) team” to ever play the game of soccer. While the curse of Scott Frost seems to be concluding, he didn’t leave without manipulating a costly turn over. While up by 1 point in Rutgers, Casey Thompson took the snap under center and fumbled it, nearly offering Rutgers one last attempt to win the game and splinter the minds and hearts of Husker fans once more. Alast, the Big Mick Energy changed that story and the Huskers won that game 14-13. 

The following morning, Husker fan of 37 years Peg Rothlson screamed with great horror that Frost had killed all of the plants in the garden and froze all the gardens in the neighborhood. “Hasn’t Frost caused enough pain?” She cried out. Yet through it all, it seems as though the Scott Frost nightmare is finally coming to an end and Nebraska is trying to thaw from this frozen over hell that Nebraska football was under Scott Frost. Poor Arizona State has no idea what's coming next.